Never An Absolution..

It was weekend and my sister had come home.

She’s working with an IT giant, writing programs and managing datasets. Off recent, her status updates on watsapp had been quite disturbing. Gloomy, often accusatory, and sometimes teary, they had all hallmarks of a breakup. But i kept quite giving her her space, hoping she would call upon if needing help.

That evening, as when she came home, she was in good cheer. She smiled broad and bright at sight, and was up with the usual chores at home. Later the night, after dinner, i invited her over to terrace. We sat together looking up at the stars as a pleasant breeze set the coconut tree lulling to a dull rhythm.

crying girl wallpaper (6)Neither spoke anything. After a while, I looked at her and asked if she is alright. She looked up to me, and her eyes welled over. She blurted that her boyfriend left her between sobs. I pulled her to a tight embrace with her weeping her heart out as the tears left a wet patch on my shirt.

With tears streaming down her cheek, between sobs, with a choked voice, she told her story with him. She spoke with tender love of the happy times together, and with bitter resentment of the things that transpired in the end that caused her to part ways. She spoke for what seemed like hours, and all along, i couldn’t muster anymore than holding her and saying ‘here, it will be all right’ in between.

Finally, as she weared down with her heavy heart, she slowly slipped into sleep laying her head on my shoulder. Her face looked pained, her breath tired, and her delicate self crushed.

It pained to see my cute little darling in such torment. And it pained equally that i couldnt do anything about it.

Later, i slowly took her back home and tucked her into her bed. As i left, i couldnt sleep for her pain made me realise the pain i would have caused this other girl, my girlfriend, with whom i had so unceremoniously broken-up some half a year ago. I felt guilty. It felt like i was equally responsible for my sister’s pain, for how different was i from this other guy who left her.

I hoped both get well, my sister, and my girlfriend who saw the world in me and whom i so heartlessly ditched. Life indeed does teach lessons. And the hardest are the one’s where we come to realize our folly and repent, but absolution, well there is none.

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